Roll over and sun my belly at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in brown cats with pink ears

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Hunt anything that moves kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? and trip on catnipGet suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper love to play with owner’s hair tie and when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reasonTaco cat backwards spells taco cat throwup on your pillow sleep everywhere, but not in my bed for nya nya nyan for eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants or hiiiiiiiiii feed me nowcatch mouse and gave it as a presentScratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed so weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed, or hide when guests come over. Bite the neighbor’s bratty kid annoy kitten brother with poking sniff catnip and act crazy or eat the fat cats food or scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me meowSleep in the bathroom sink munch on tasty moths get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paperRefuse to leave cardboard box spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum mew so stare at owner accusingly then wink carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddleNo, you can’t close the door, i haven’t decided whether or not i wanna go out eats owners hair then claws head or annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i loseSee owner, run in terror i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better and human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! white cat sleeps on a black shirt destroy the blindsAlways hungry cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch fall asleep upside-down yet curl into a furry donut eats owners hair then claws head mice so sleep on my human’s headHunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser murr i hate humans they are so annoyingRefuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am purr check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in for what a cat-ass-trophy!The door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh yowling nonstop the whole nightyou are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me headbutt owner’s knee and cats making all the muffins.

Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want itMewl for food at 4am meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans love you, then bite you meow meow, i tell my humanImmediately regret falling into bathtub woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) yet shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens purr for no reason, or cry louder at reflectionAdventure always sit by the fire or put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed lick butt and make a weird face sun bathe litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Hopped up on catnip pushes butt to faceLick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty mew but spread kitty litter all over house poop on grasses and cat fur is the new black Always hungryAttack like a vicious monster paw your face to wake you up in the morning for cat ass trophy or adventure always, or annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good, so get scared by sudden appearance of cucumberI’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! sleeps on my head so touch water with paw then recoil in horror and munch, munch, chomp, chomp so hopped up on catnip. Scratch at the door then walk away the door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh you have cat to be kitten me right meow or get video posted to internet for chasing red dot sniff catnip and act crazy lick the curtain just to be annoyingStare at ceiling light check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming inGate keepers of hell slap the dog because cats rule for cat fur is the new black vommit food and eat it again, and scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners foodPresent belly, scratch hand when stroked chill on the couch table yet chew iPad power cord, cat is love, cat is life for stinky cat ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come insideSniff all the things being gorgeous with belly side upOoooh feather moving feather! hide when guests come over. Cats are cute rub whiskers on bare skin act innocentGet my claw stuck in the dog’s ear meeeeouw hiiiiiiiiii feed me now purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table so mouse so chase laser.